I wish i had missed the first time that we kissed.

My wishes/to-do list:

i wish I could be 125 by homecoming.
i wish I could write a best-selling novel and turn it into a series and make enough money to live more than comfortably for the rest of my life.
I wish I could marry a handsome, sweet, intelligent Indian/Arabian man with those DEEP AMAZING EYES THAT ONLY MIDDLE-EASTERN MEN HAVE. DEAR HEAVENS.
I wish for my children, if I have them, to be as openminded and accepting as I am.
I wish for enough time to do everything I want to do before I'm thirty.
I wish I could have abs without working out.
I wish I could extract my memories and put them somewhere where i could look at them anytime i wish. Like the Harry Potter pensieve.
I wish for Harry Potter to have like ten more books following the last one.
I wish for my best friends to remain my best friends forever.
I wish for cristina to come back.
I wish for Waqar to never forget me and always remember how much fun we had in Physics. <3

13 pounds.

I'm getting there.

we can't rewind, we're locked in time,

but you're still mine.


I wish a lot of things could be different about my high school life so far - a lot of stupid things that don't matter, like why didn't I get skinny and try out for cheerleading? Or why didn't I say hi to that person sooner? But what I'll regret more than anything is not paying enough attention. I'm never going to remember some of the funniest things that happened because I've already forgotten them. I feel old and tired already. I hope that my life hasn't already reached it's peak and the rest is all downhill. I guess we'll see.

Some funny things that I still remember and don't want to forget:

- Secret Flaps
- SAT class with Carolina, Cristina, Taylor, Cathy, Hannah, Lindsey, Carter, Sarah, Andie, etc. Funny conversations EVERY DAY.
-Meeting alex and talking about Ugly Diapers.
- Cristina freaking out about Dean Winchester and running through my living room
-Colby talking about Avatars, Alex Schaening, and Pre-Cal class in general. Kevin sneaking out the room to play hacky sack and ms noblitt flipping shit.
-Us thinking we were about to get murdered in the westgate church parking lot.
other stuff ill add later so i can look back on it

maybe thats what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

I follow you home in my head; I see you open your door and sigh as you take in the empty, quiet house, and in my mind I run my hand over your hair and I tell you stupid things to make you smile again. I've never in my entire life seen a smile like yours. I've read books where they would say people's eyes "glimmered" when they smiled, and I've never seen that until I met you. In my mind I'm there to talk to you, walk with you through all the mundane tasks of the day and try to make them somewhat more interesting. It's not really that I want to be doing the stupid tasks, but I want to be near you. I'm more selfish when it comes to you, but I'm more selfless at the exact same time. I'll do anything you want me to do, I've proved that haven't I? But I always have such selfish needs, too; talk to me until I fall asleep, walk me home after work instead of doing what you usually do - instead of disappearing as soon as you clock out with a vague wave over your shoulder. I need you to be with me more hours of the day than is even feasible, or I want you to find a way to make time stop so you can come to me, and never leave. And there will always be more time for us, more time to walk the city streets at night, go see stupid movies and make out through the entire thing, even though we both agreed that was "the trashiest thing we'd ever heard of," and go to Starbucks and sit in the comfy chairs and reminisce about our high school lives and admit our trepidation- no, our paralyzing fear - about college and the rest of our lives.

We're not right for each other, and we never will be. We're from two different worlds, and everything about you is different from me, from your skin to the way you think. I don't know how we would work, or if it would be awkward or insanely passionate or dull or just too odd for you. I can see in you what I've never had in me; all your boldness and wit and your ability to not take anyone's shit or let them see they've hurt you. You're the strongest person I've ever met, and in a lot of ways, too, the most terrifying. You might break my heart, but right now, I'm actually not scared of anything.