Thursday, April 8, 2010

I love beautiful things.

Here's something beautiful I found. Yes, it's written by a gay guy who's scared to come out, but it's ambiguous enough to relate to so much more. Fear of rejection, fear of nonconformity, fear of responsibility. It's honest and it's raw, and something I haven't seen in a long time.


The voice you’re hearing isn’t me.
The images you’ll see may or may not be.

I am a constellation,
seen by the eyes of millions as something I am not.

Hidden by traffic congestion,
happily avoiding the headlights of your car.
But I’m certain we’ve met.

I was born in a suburb outside a major city.
Raised for marriage and kids.
Protected by police who ticket soccer moms
and property taxes high enough to keep diversity from the country clubs.

Kids can be mean...
Or maybe too honest.
And adults just as bad with less excuse.

You’ve all told me that I’m not normal.
Slightly unnatural.
Unless of course I’m telling a bitchy joke or critiquing your outfit.

I’m not so obvious --
Whatever that means.

No attitude, no drugs
No short shorts or crooked visors.
No showtunes, no Cher, no Madonna.
Okay maybe a little Madonna,
but only in my private time.

I’m married to my work and to changing the world,
avoiding the one most personal to me.

An actor on stage, a man with a camera...
allowing you to see only so much of me.

A past unchanged.
Relationships too strong to discount.

There’s no direct answer I can offer today,
questions hanging above me waiting to crush...

Don’t make me look up.

Why do you need to know?

Besides, no matter what I say,
you’ll still believe what you want to believe.
You obviously know me better than me.
Read the headlines! Spare me the need to explain.

We’ve apparently come so far, yet not if your legs are too lazy to walk.

If things are so good, why am I still ashamed
to scratch an itch that’s not going away?

Why am I too scared to face the lens?

Should I sit at the back of the bus?
Maybe I wont take it at all.

We all have things we don’t know how to face:
High blood pressure, a cheating spouse.
Overbearing parents, fading memories...
An alcoholic uncle who talks too close.

Love. Death.

This one is my obstacle.

I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me.
I don’t and neither should you.

Some know, some someday will.
But why am I ashamed?

I just refuse to be judged as the people who’ve defined me
before I had a say.

Each one of us is a separate sky enclosing a world all our own...

Why should I tell?
Why invite you in?

Knowledge is a gift, not something deserved.

So for now, I’ll remain married to my work
and out to change the world.

...Even if I have to do it alone.

As long as I’m know for the human that I am,
who I want to be.
And not just the other that I don’t.

The imagery you have seen may have been me or not.
But I’m certain we’ll meet.

Maybe one day — some day — I’ll feel proud to tell.
but for now that day seems forever away.

I love it.


And since this is all about gay men today (isnt it always with me?)...

Quotable quotes from my favorite gay of all time, and one of the most insightful, witty men who ever lived: Oscar Wilde.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

"At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets."

"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter."

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."

"One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."

"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers."

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

Ohhhh I love him.