Friday, December 26, 2008

Eventually, things will change.

Eventually, my parents will grow enough to realize that I have to be allowed to make a mistake before I learn how to fix it.
Until I do, I'll keep doing the same thing, over and over and over again.
Until I figure out what's right.

A few of my friends, unfortunately, are developing the same habits as my parents.


Sunday, December 21, 2008

if you could at least show me what i want,

that would be enough.

i have an image in my head of quiet conversation
that stretches on for not minutes,
but hours, days, weeks, years,
spanning time while the conversation never loses its
quiet, murmuring, blazing fire.
theres you, next to me, thigh pressed against mine,
and the spark thats growing there isn't a teasing one,
isnt a 'this is only a hint of whats coming next,'
its a 'my thigh is touching yours, i like it,'
and its the most comfortable thing ive ever felt.

its not that you exactly get me, not that you know exactly whats on my mind,
because ive seen enough of this world. i know whats possible, and whats not.
but you understand that we're both trying our hardest
to be something to each other that deserves to be understood.
you breathe honesty, and i breathe it back,
and all the honesty flowing out from both of us is ricocheting in the air,
confused, not used to being out and exposed like this.
but it becomes easier, it flows better. the honesty winds, curls itself
into something much deeper, and warmer.

its not that youre everything that ive ever wanted;
not that ive subconsciously dreamed of you from the second i knew how to dream,
its just that if i had the option
to pick who i dream about every night until the end of time,
you would be it.

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The snow's coming down; I'm watching it fall.

Hey there, it's been a while.
I've been busy (and by busy I mean 'haven't felt like typing in the address to get here'), so I haven't blogged since like forever ago. But to catch you up, it snowed like a week ago! It was the most amazing thing in the world, since this is southeast Texas and I've NEVER SEEN SNOW. GUH.

Also, I've also started doing something very bad. Something that I think that I'm doing to spite my mother, my father, my ex, and a few of my friends as well. It's horrible. I'm not going to say what it is, just that it's not very nice. And it's causing me to feel very distant with everyone close to me.

But, on a brighter note, 4 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Too bad it doesn't even feel like it.

"No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy?
The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything.
If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy.
If what makes us happy is different from what we have now,
then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are,
feeling even more unhappy."

The Zahir, by Paulo Coelho

Saturday, December 6, 2008

"I'll be glad when you start acting like everyone else."

My mom doesn't stress originality very much, in case you couldn't tell.
I think she secretly hates me.

Mom: "Why do you listen to this music? Why can't you listen to what everyone else listens to? This isn't pleasing."
Me: "'s a guy. With a guitar. Singing about a girl he loves."
Mom: "It's abrasive."
Me: "..."

Whatever, let me just run along and listen to the "normal stuff," but don't complain when I come home singing about the bitches an' hoes.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My life

is so boring.
And yet stressful at the same time!

This is a schedule of events I have to keep in mind for the next three weeks:

-Vocabulary test probably Thursday.

-Electron Configuration

-Fitnessgram next Wednesday.


-Homework, homework, homework. Test.

World History:
-Paragraph and thesis due Friday.
- project, due MONDAY, the 8th.
- Study Guide due 15th
-Unit Test 16th
-Notecards due sometime in November, current event due the 9th

Computer Science:
-learn how the hell to do programming of any sort.