Monday, January 26, 2009

oh my GOD.

my LIFE.

I seriously hate this, right now.
I can't even tell my own blog why I hate it because it's about something that nobody knows about, and I can't risk anybody finding out. I would tell my OTHER blog, but like, no ones even added me on that one, so I'd be telling no one, which defeats the whole PURPOSE of ranting.. I can't rant unless I have somebody that will listen. That's why I like having a ton of people add me on some kind of electronic thing where no one can see my face, like a blog, but not like this one because people know me personally on this, but if they don't know me they don't know what to expect and they don't have any preconceived notions, and then I can rant about things to people who don't even know me. So they can be sympathetic without being like "ewwww, she does that?" But you know.
Whatever.

So I have no one to tell and this whole thing is just spiralling out of control and I can't decide if it's my fault, because I deliberate too much and I'm indecisive, or if it's some other peoples' faults for just making me doubt my own self. All I know is I want out of this situation; I want into a situation where things feel right and I'm finally fucking happy and things go my way without getting them turned around five minutes later so I'm metaphorically faceplanted in the dirt.



Ugh.

1 comment:

Phoebe said...

aw jess sorryy. idk what you're going through, but i hope things get better