Looking at you through the glass,

don't know how much time has passed. Oh, God, it feels like forever.



It's hard dealing with things that you know you shouldn't be thinking about in the first place. All I seem to think about anymore are things that are bad for me, bad for my soul, etc. I think about this, I think about her, I think about him, I think about other people, and all these things are just spiralling out of control inside my head. I'm out of wack. Last year I was more organized than this and I could actually apply myself to one thing; for example, during this time last year I was on a steady diet (if you can call it that, mostly I just didn't eat), I was writing constantly, I was reading books and I could stay focused on them, and I was in touch with all my friends and my friendships were strong and happy. This summer, however... everything's different. I don't know if it's because of what happened during July, or if I just ruined it somehow along the way, or if it's just what happens when someone grows up. My friendships are harder to keep, I can't apply myself to any one thing, I haven't written in forever, my grades are slipping, I'm so out of shape it's embarrassing, and the internet is more entertaining to me than my family(surprise, surprise, there. I think that's always been that way).

Anyway, I just wish I had more will power and I could change the things I wanted to change. Every day, it gets a little bit harder.


In less depressing news, I'm in love with this guy: