a fantasy of sorts.

This is a blog about faith and God. Topics I normally don't discuss, but it was necessary.



This is probably just more of my pretentious blabberings, but it's something that I couldn't get out of my mind, so I wrote it here. (and my other blog, but sometimes I need double outlets.) Anyway, here it is.



A thought hit me, while I was in the car riding home from a restaurant with my parents. A really heartbreaking version of Auld Lang Syne was playing on a CD my mom had made, and it had all these little soundbites of news reports of wars, murders, and natural disasters. It was a really poignant three minutes for me, even though I don't think my parents meant it to be, it was just the next track on my mom's Christmas CD that she was showing us.

I'm guilty of being, apparently,one of the worst things a person can ever be if they care for their immortal souls: a skeptic. I don't believe anything unless I see it. And all I see right now, in this world, is corruption with some sporadic goodness throughout. Everyone who sees these good things happen, like a child getting saved from a burning building or a family of kittens being pulled from under some piece of rubble by the neighborhood dog, they say it's like, God just proving that he's still here for us, or whatever. Like it's our daily juice to keep us carrying on.

But that stuff never works for me, unfortunately. I always view it as just a person's natural good will, or chance, or you know, in the case of people - citizenship and natural kindness which is something a person is supposed to have anyway, but what we're seeing less and less of these days. But still, kindness and citizenship are a result of morals, which come from the Bible, but you can be a good citizen and kind and not believe a word of the Bible, so that's why I'm saying that.

Now a part of me knows that this is just me being stubborn and needy, that I should be able to see past these things and see what God, who I have such a hard time believing in sometimes, wants me to see, but I just want to indulge in one of my fantasies for a second, a vision of what I so desperately want to happen that would reassure me in all my faith issues, and make me never doubt again.


So here's my thought. What I would like to see happen, just once in my lifetime, is a full-blown act of God. And I know, I know, I'm supposed to see full-blown miracles in my every day life, but I don't mean something like that. I mean something tangible, something that happens all at once for the entire world.

I had this vision of the clock striking some random time, like 10:06, and the entire world freezing. Not literally freezing, but everyone on the entire globe falling into complete silence and ceasing movement. The animals first, of course, as they're always the most instinctive. The birds and insects and tigers and hyenas and dogs and everything else that makes noise just stops, all at the exact same second. Then, civilization follows. All the cars on the road slow to a stop, wherever they are. The drug dealers and prostitutes look up in shock at the stillness in the air, and fall silent themselves. The people on the half of the world that are sleeping wake from their sleep and sit up in their beds, staring into nothingness without a touch of exhaustion. The factory workers draw back from their levers and ladders and fall quiet, and make their way to the ground without a second thought. The soldiers staying up playing cards or texting their wives to tell them they love them silence their thoughts and put down what they're doing, and stare at each other in understanding. Understanding of what, none of them know yet.

Then, all at once, everyone falls to their knees. I'm talking everyone(everyone that can, I mean. Obviously not those driving a plane or something like that where it's impossible), the murderers crouched over the bed of the couple with two kids sleeping in another room, the drunken couples giggling and walking out the steps of some dingy club, the man who's cheating on his wife, all of them. They all just...go quiet and fall to their knees. There's no shock, it's all natural and slow and relaxed. The air is so silent that it hums, all the words and music and sentences that aren't being released knock into each other in the open air, and vibrate against one another in what would be their quiet to break. Everyone's minds are blank. There is nothing in their brains plaguing them with worry, or fear, or nervous anxiety or embarrassment or anything like that. But there is a sense of serenity. It will be unlike anything anyone in this world has ever felt.


Then, while the entire world is for once without any of the normal human struggles, a simple "thank you" will resonate in the air, clear and synchronized and without a single inflection of anything but humble adoration.

Now after this (flawed and unreasonable) event happens, hypothetically speaking, would everything go back to normal? Or would people actually be truly affected? I hope so, but I honestly have no idea. I just want to see something epic happen to help convince me forever that I am saved and that I am loved.