we all get tired of something.
Would you catch me if I was falling?
Would you kiss me if I was leaving?
Would you hold me cause I'm lonely?
I know someone's amazing when they make me want to go wax poetic about them on my blog.
Teddy Tedholm. Probably the most talented kid I've seen in a long time. He's so in touch with his emotions - I've never seen someone on SYTYCD dance like him ever.
I'm in love.
This may develop further into a full scale obsession. we'll see.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I love beautiful things.
Here's something beautiful I found. Yes, it's written by a gay guy who's scared to come out, but it's ambiguous enough to relate to so much more. Fear of rejection, fear of nonconformity, fear of responsibility. It's honest and it's raw, and something I haven't seen in a long time.
TRANSCRIPT FOR "THE OTHER"
The voice you’re hearing isn’t me.
The images you’ll see may or may not be.
I am a constellation,
seen by the eyes of millions as something I am not.
Hidden by traffic congestion,
happily avoiding the headlights of your car.
But I’m certain we’ve met.
I was born in a suburb outside a major city.
Raised for marriage and kids.
Protected by police who ticket soccer moms
and property taxes high enough to keep diversity from the country clubs.
Kids can be mean...
Or maybe too honest.
And adults just as bad with less excuse.
You’ve all told me that I’m not normal.
Slightly unnatural.
Unless of course I’m telling a bitchy joke or critiquing your outfit.
I’m not so obvious --
Whatever that means.
No attitude, no drugs
No short shorts or crooked visors.
No showtunes, no Cher, no Madonna.
Okay maybe a little Madonna,
but only in my private time.
I’m married to my work and to changing the world,
avoiding the one most personal to me.
An actor on stage, a man with a camera...
allowing you to see only so much of me.
A past unchanged.
Relationships too strong to discount.
There’s no direct answer I can offer today,
questions hanging above me waiting to crush...
Don’t make me look up.
Why do you need to know?
Besides, no matter what I say,
you’ll still believe what you want to believe.
You obviously know me better than me.
Read the headlines! Spare me the need to explain.
We’ve apparently come so far, yet not if your legs are too lazy to walk.
If things are so good, why am I still ashamed
to scratch an itch that’s not going away?
Why am I too scared to face the lens?
Should I sit at the back of the bus?
Maybe I wont take it at all.
We all have things we don’t know how to face:
High blood pressure, a cheating spouse.
Overbearing parents, fading memories...
An alcoholic uncle who talks too close.
Love. Death.
This one is my obstacle.
I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me.
I don’t and neither should you.
Some know, some someday will.
But why am I ashamed?
I just refuse to be judged as the people who’ve defined me
before I had a say.
Each one of us is a separate sky enclosing a world all our own...
Why should I tell?
Why invite you in?
Knowledge is a gift, not something deserved.
So for now, I’ll remain married to my work
and out to change the world.
...Even if I have to do it alone.
As long as I’m know for the human that I am,
who I want to be.
And not just the other that I don’t.
The imagery you have seen may have been me or not.
But I’m certain we’ll meet.
Maybe one day — some day — I’ll feel proud to tell.
but for now that day seems forever away.
I love it.
---------
And since this is all about gay men today (isnt it always with me?)...
Quotable quotes from my favorite gay of all time, and one of the most insightful, witty men who ever lived: Oscar Wilde.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
"At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets."
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter."
"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
"One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."
"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers."
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
Ohhhh I love him.
TRANSCRIPT FOR "THE OTHER"
The voice you’re hearing isn’t me.
The images you’ll see may or may not be.
I am a constellation,
seen by the eyes of millions as something I am not.
Hidden by traffic congestion,
happily avoiding the headlights of your car.
But I’m certain we’ve met.
I was born in a suburb outside a major city.
Raised for marriage and kids.
Protected by police who ticket soccer moms
and property taxes high enough to keep diversity from the country clubs.
Kids can be mean...
Or maybe too honest.
And adults just as bad with less excuse.
You’ve all told me that I’m not normal.
Slightly unnatural.
Unless of course I’m telling a bitchy joke or critiquing your outfit.
I’m not so obvious --
Whatever that means.
No attitude, no drugs
No short shorts or crooked visors.
No showtunes, no Cher, no Madonna.
Okay maybe a little Madonna,
but only in my private time.
I’m married to my work and to changing the world,
avoiding the one most personal to me.
An actor on stage, a man with a camera...
allowing you to see only so much of me.
A past unchanged.
Relationships too strong to discount.
There’s no direct answer I can offer today,
questions hanging above me waiting to crush...
Don’t make me look up.
Why do you need to know?
Besides, no matter what I say,
you’ll still believe what you want to believe.
You obviously know me better than me.
Read the headlines! Spare me the need to explain.
We’ve apparently come so far, yet not if your legs are too lazy to walk.
If things are so good, why am I still ashamed
to scratch an itch that’s not going away?
Why am I too scared to face the lens?
Should I sit at the back of the bus?
Maybe I wont take it at all.
We all have things we don’t know how to face:
High blood pressure, a cheating spouse.
Overbearing parents, fading memories...
An alcoholic uncle who talks too close.
Love. Death.
This one is my obstacle.
I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me.
I don’t and neither should you.
Some know, some someday will.
But why am I ashamed?
I just refuse to be judged as the people who’ve defined me
before I had a say.
Each one of us is a separate sky enclosing a world all our own...
Why should I tell?
Why invite you in?
Knowledge is a gift, not something deserved.
So for now, I’ll remain married to my work
and out to change the world.
...Even if I have to do it alone.
As long as I’m know for the human that I am,
who I want to be.
And not just the other that I don’t.
The imagery you have seen may have been me or not.
But I’m certain we’ll meet.
Maybe one day — some day — I’ll feel proud to tell.
but for now that day seems forever away.
I love it.
---------
And since this is all about gay men today (isnt it always with me?)...
Quotable quotes from my favorite gay of all time, and one of the most insightful, witty men who ever lived: Oscar Wilde.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
"At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets."
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter."
"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
"One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar."
"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers."
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
Ohhhh I love him.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Take shelter, and hide forever.
I really cannot freaking wait until Adam Lambert starts touring. Never have I seen more talent concentrated into one single being. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
But in other news, Sherlock Holmes is still out. How is that even possible? it's been like 2 and a half months. I love it. <3
I made a 1930 on my SAT. I honestly don't know how that happened, but I'm hoping it'll be enough to help me get into Columbia. Ugh, college is looming over me. How scary. :(
Song of the day:
Soaked by Adam Lambert.
It's gorgeous.
Soaked to the bone, sink like a stone.
Walk home alone.
It's not the first time,
It's not the worst crime
Your soul will be okay.
When you've had enough searching for love
And you miss the touch
Of someone new
Burned by your dreams
It's never how it seems
Cold crushed esteem
Take shelter and hide forever
Your soul will be okay.
When you've had enough
Searching for love
But you miss the touch
Of someone new
I've had enough
Searching for love
But I miss the touch
Of someone new
Soaked to the bone
Sink like a stone
I will take you home
It's not the first time
It's not the worst crime
Our souls will be okay.
But in other news, Sherlock Holmes is still out. How is that even possible? it's been like 2 and a half months. I love it. <3
I made a 1930 on my SAT. I honestly don't know how that happened, but I'm hoping it'll be enough to help me get into Columbia. Ugh, college is looming over me. How scary. :(
Song of the day:
Soaked by Adam Lambert.
It's gorgeous.
Soaked to the bone, sink like a stone.
Walk home alone.
It's not the first time,
It's not the worst crime
Your soul will be okay.
When you've had enough searching for love
And you miss the touch
Of someone new
Burned by your dreams
It's never how it seems
Cold crushed esteem
Take shelter and hide forever
Your soul will be okay.
When you've had enough
Searching for love
But you miss the touch
Of someone new
I've had enough
Searching for love
But I miss the touch
Of someone new
Soaked to the bone
Sink like a stone
I will take you home
It's not the first time
It's not the worst crime
Our souls will be okay.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Pretentious.
I hate pretentious people. You know the ones. They listen to "the best music" and write the best words and have the most unique thoughts, even though all of these pretentious people with all their "unique thoughts" and "interesting ideals" tend to blend together. Originality is just that: originality. Not at all a hard concept to grasp, and yet some people still work so hard at it.
Monday, November 9, 2009
How could I break such a heart?
Baby doesn't dance in the dark,
Cause when he's looking she falls apart.
Her boyfriend says she's a mess, she's a mess.
Bad day.
Parents don't understand me more than usual and I'm losing my friends. I miss middle school. Hell, I miss elementary; pre-school. Anything is better than this rut I'm stuck in. And I'm getting fatter, I swear. Just what I need.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Sometimes love comes around,
And it knocks you down, just get back up.
I've had the most awful few days ever.
Like, I have not been this depressed in so long, I can't even remember.
I'm pretty sure I've officially loved and lost.
My breath is on your hair,
I'm unaware that you opened the blinds,
and let the city in.
And God, you held my hand, and we stand,
just taking in everything.
And I knew it from the start,
so my arms are open wide.
Your head is on my stomach,
and we're trying so hard not to fall asleep.
here we are, on this 18th floor balcony, and we're both
flying away.
Our hearts were on display,
for all to see. I can't believe this is happening to me.
And I raised my hands as if to show you that I was yours,
that I was so yours for the taking, I'm so yours for the taking.
And, that's when I felt the wind pick up,
I grabbed the rail while choking up these words to say,
and then you kissed me.
I miss you. I miss you SO. MUCH. I would take you back in a second, I have no doubt of it.
Now that I know what it's like to miss the way someone tastes, or the way they feel pressed against your back while you doze, and how they shake. I wish you had never showed me any of it.
I've had the most awful few days ever.
Like, I have not been this depressed in so long, I can't even remember.
I'm pretty sure I've officially loved and lost.
My breath is on your hair,
I'm unaware that you opened the blinds,
and let the city in.
And God, you held my hand, and we stand,
just taking in everything.
And I knew it from the start,
so my arms are open wide.
Your head is on my stomach,
and we're trying so hard not to fall asleep.
here we are, on this 18th floor balcony, and we're both
flying away.
Our hearts were on display,
for all to see. I can't believe this is happening to me.
And I raised my hands as if to show you that I was yours,
that I was so yours for the taking, I'm so yours for the taking.
And, that's when I felt the wind pick up,
I grabbed the rail while choking up these words to say,
and then you kissed me.
I miss you. I miss you SO. MUCH. I would take you back in a second, I have no doubt of it.
Now that I know what it's like to miss the way someone tastes, or the way they feel pressed against your back while you doze, and how they shake. I wish you had never showed me any of it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Drenched in vanilla twilight
It's been too long. School's been so crazy, and I've had so much to do. I don't even know where to start. Well I do have a few things to say:
Things to cross off my bucket list:
-Getting chased by a cow
-Getting a lapdance from a black guy
-Getting a 22 year old guy to come to my house to watch a scary movie with me
It's been a pretty good school year so far. :)
I joined FFA, FCCLA, Key Club, and Interact, so it's going to be a PERTY BUSY YEAR. D=
But I'm pumped. And I'm sure there will be drama all over the place. But for now it's just really fun. :)
Things to cross off my bucket list:
-Getting chased by a cow
-Getting a lapdance from a black guy
-Getting a 22 year old guy to come to my house to watch a scary movie with me
It's been a pretty good school year so far. :)
I joined FFA, FCCLA, Key Club, and Interact, so it's going to be a PERTY BUSY YEAR. D=
But I'm pumped. And I'm sure there will be drama all over the place. But for now it's just really fun. :)
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